Those Damn Pintemoms

Recently in an online mommy group I am a part of, a discussion about Pinterest came up. The original post was innocent enough, and probably something lots of people have felt or thought- Does browsing Pinterest ever make you feel ~guilty~ for not being THAT mom?

I mean, do those moms really exist? The ones who make puppets out of toilet paper rolls and craft with their kids every day right after feeding them a wholesome lunch cut into the shape of their favorite animal?

The discussion evolved in (to me) an unexpected way, though. It seemed that, in fear of being judged or looked down on by the “Pintemoms,” some of the people commenting were doing the same thing to them. One comment, which really stung me personally, referred to overachieving mothers screaming at their children to make the “appropriate” faces and poses for the pictures of their finished crafts before insisting that this is why “Pintemoms” should be avoided.

Uhm, ouch.

Couple of things. 

My parenting is not a commentary on yours.

If I want to make every damn peanut butter and jelly sandwich my kid eats into a snowman or a dinosaur or a middle finger, for that matter, it has less than zero to do with you. Or what I think of your parenting.

Crafting does not a perfect parent make.

This is what I wore today.

I consider myself very, very, lucky when a day pops up where I can convince my 3 year old to wear clothes. Seriously. But, really, doing something creative and fun with my kid is important ~to me.~ Sure, not every day. But Pinterest is full of ideas, and I think it is silly to write off every single one of them because you assume that the ideas are only suitable for *those* moms. YOU are that mom- if you want to be!

Crafting Can Be Easy

Crafting should be fun. Find something that is easy so you don’t get stressed out over it, and try to approach it the way your child would. It isn’t about being perfect or being able to pin something that everyone will ooh and ahh over. Sometimes it is just about the 10 seconds of joy and pride on your kid’s face when they stick their creation on the fridge.

And with that, here is a craft Sarah Jane and I did recently while my husband was at work. She told me that her Daddy was her “Valentime” and she wanted to make him a card with her art kit. So we did. And this one is super easy. Check it out.

First up, you'll need some white computer paper and a white crayon. Sarah Jane can't write her letters yet, so I did the first step by using the white crayon to write, "DAD" on the computer paper. Easy enough!

Then I put Sarah Jane in her little brother's high chair so she wouldn't make too much of a mess with her watercolor paints. I let her go to town and she had so much fun! She was very fascinated by the white letters showing through and we had a fun moment when I explained that the crayons were made of wax so the letters wouldn't absorb the water-based paint. It might have been a little over her head, but it was a sweet moment anyway.

While Sarah Jane worked on painting, I entertained the baby the way all perfect mothers do- with a metal pot and a wooden spoon, of course.

When Sarah Jane was satisfied with her work, we set it aside to dry and pulled out some safety scissors and construction paper. We cut the white paper in a heart and glued it to the red construction paper.

I happened to have a bag of scrabble letters laying around because, being such an imperfect parent, so many had gone missing that they game couldn't be played anymore. I thought this would be a cute addition to the card, and it was another sweet teaching moment to go over letters and their sounds with SJ.

The finished product went on the fridge for Daddy to see when he came home. He loved it, and Sarah Jane was quite proud of herself. And that, I think, is the good stuff. =)

Celebrities Who Haven't Been on Sesame Street, But Should

I’m just going to admit it. I freaking LOVE TV. And despite the insistence of a lot of those in the parenting circles I belong to, I don’t mind my kids loving it too. One of our favorite shows to all watch together is Sesame Street. We even all dressed up as characters from the show for Halloween. The list of famous actors who have appeared on the show is astoundingly long. Seriously, there is a whole Wikipedia entry devoted to all the famous faces to grace the screen on the show. After an appearance the other day by Elvis Costello, I got to thinking… who are the celebrities who HAVEN’T done a guest spot, but should? Here’s my Top 5. Who would you add to the list?

Johnny Depp
  

Why: Really, I would just like to see Captain Jack Sparrow. I’m imagining a bit where Captain Jack leads Elmo on a “treasure hunt” through treacherous jungles and beaches, only to find the treasure is a chest of rum and coconuts. Cue the entrance of The Count, because this is Sesame Street, after all, and everything is an opportunity to learn! VON! Von shot of rum. TWO! Two shots of rum.

Letter of the Day: P is for Pirate

George Lucas

Why: Seriously, y’all. Imagine the possibilities with George Lucas on set. He could teach Grover about space and Oscar the Grouch could dress up as Vader. Sadly, probably the only thing in the world more protected by licensing than Sesame Street is Star Wars, but let’s just suspend disbelief for a minute here… you know, like you have to do to get through all the plot holes in Episode I.

Letter of the Day: S is for Space

Keith Richards

Why: Assuming he could make it to set somewhat sober, an episode of Sesame Street with Keith Richards as the guest star would be a hodge podge of epic awesomeness. We’d be treated to a parody performance called, “I Know It’s Only Shapes and Colors (but I like it)” and Keith would probably get confused at some point about what kind of monster the big blue one was… after all Cookie and coke are really so few letters apart.

Letter of the Day: R is for Rock n Roll

Dustin Hoffman

Why: An episode with Dustin Hoffman would be the most fun to watch. Perhaps he would take the opportunity as a platform to discuss gender bias and the things he learned while filming Tootsie. Sesame Street has always been very forward thinking, after all. Mostly I would like to see him find a way to reprise his role of Captain Hook. Because, really, what is better than Dustin Hoffman with that wig and mustache? Nothing, I tell you. Nothing.

Letter of the Day: T is for Tootsie

Samuel L Jackson

Why: Having proven his abilities within the realm of children’s media with his narration of Go The Fuck to Sleep, Sesame Street really is the next logical career move for this fowl mouthed favorite. I want to see him and Cookie Monster duke it out over a plate of cookies. The best bit, though, would involve Abby Cadabby dressed as a witch on a broomstick. After a question about her costume from Elmo, Jackson would, of course, demand to know, “DOES SHE LOOK LIKE A WITCH?”

Letter of the Day: S is for Snakes on this motha’ fuckin plane

That's a Wrap

In most non-western cultures, there isn’t even a word for “babywearing.” It’s just carrying your child, it’s normal. Here, though, the term is usually reserved for the “crunchy” moms and often inspires intense reactions from outsiders who are unfamiliar with it. I will never forget the horror on a worker at Wal*Mart’s face when I took my 3 month old son and basically threw him on my back so I could wrap a long ass piece of fabric around him.

Still, to those in the community such things are commonplace. It is amazing how quickly you go from, “What are these wrap things? They’re kind of expensive… that looks complicated….” To

BUY ALL THE WRAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Recently I had the opportunity to design a wrap that is being released by Natibaby in an exclusive from Risaroo. The design is available in two colorways and blends. Harbor Fog, the black and white version, will come in a hemp blend, and Harbor Storm, the version with two lovely shades of blue, will come in a linen blend.  All of the lighthouses on the wrap are actual US lighthouses still standing today. The wrap is part of a pre-order that is open for just a bit longer, so check it out and order one! You will kick yourself if you miss this, trust me.

A fun trend right now in the babywearing community is to create “Woven Wrap Art Creations.” Basically, creating small vignettes or scenes out of your “stash” of wraps. Some of these are really creative and impressive. Check them out! My attempt was sad and pitiful, so I’ll spare you.

 

 

Abearham Lincoln's Birthday hahahaha

What do you think of these creations? Which one is your favorite? Have you ever made one? Please share with us in the comments! (all pictures used with permission)

The Dangers of Second Chances

I was 19 when I got pregnant with my daughter. People talk about surprise babies, but when I found myself, nineteen years old, in a somewhat new relationship, on birth control and 6 weeks pregnant, the term “Bombshell Baby” probably would have been better suited. Always one to roll with the twists and turns of life, Brook and I moved forward and made plans. We got married because we knew we wanted to and the idea of planning a wedding with a baby sounded exhausting. 

I was happy and determined to be a great wife and mom. Nine months later I had a perfectly unremarkable hospital birth, all the typical issues with breastfeeding, and a baby who slept in a crib and shit in disposable diapers. I was SONORMAL. I had this figured out.

But then something happened- the Internet. 

Seeking community and knowledge I learned very quickly that I had really fucked my kid up ALREADY. I had been pumping exclusively for months and months and got discouraged and switched to formula, robbing my child of precious antibodies and probably depleting her brain cells. I learned that the disposable diapers on her butt were full of horrific chemicals and would also probably keep her from potty training by the age of 10. Also, sticking her in a crib was probably barbaric and cruel and would teach her to be detached for the rest of her life. I was plagued with insecurities anyway and the more I read, the more fuel I added to that fire.

Even my marriage couldn’t escape this new analytic lens of criticism and doubt. Did Brook really love me? Did he even want to be married to me or did he just say those things on our wedding day because of the impending birth of his first child? I set out to right the things I could, all the while cursing myself for not knowing better to begin with.

Not long after my daughter turned one, we decided to try for baby #2. This was it for me! My second chance. Getting pregnant (this time on purpose!) was my opportunity to right all of the wrongs. To fix all of the things I had fucked up with my daughter.

I armed myself with books on breastfeeding and supportive friends. I spent my pregnancy seeing midwives at a birthing center where I planned to deliver a baby boy peacefully and quietly into a pool of rushing water. I armed myself with baby wraps and a cloth diaper collection worth more than the hospital bill from my first birth. I went to the birthing center on the night my water broke, leaving behind a bed with a sidecarred crib, certain it would ensure my nursing success and attachment.

And you know, to some degree it all worked out just fine. I had no issues nursing Carver, he came home in a ring sling, with a cloth diaper on his perfect little butt, and that first night home he slept close enough to me that I could hear his breathing.

But you know the most remarkable thing to see? My daughter, his big sister. The way she loved him instantly, the way she tucked his blanket around him when he slept in his bouncy seat. The way she would instruct me on his behalf at the first whimper or cry, “Mama, Carver wants to nurse.” “Carver is cold.” “Read Carver and me a book!”

I suddenly felt like the world’s biggest moron. I hadn’t ruined her. How could I ever have thought that? She was the first thing I had ever made that I could hold up to the world and say, “Look. Look at this perfection. Look at this little being who grew inside me.”

And the older Carver got the more sure I felt that all of the things that concerned me so much were so trivial and unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Not only that, but in thinking of my son as a “second chance” baby I was doing all of us a disservice- my children, my husband, myself. Because Carver is not a second chance baby. This is the first chance with him. This is my first chance to be his mama. And he is a completely different baby, person, being than his sister.

When Sarah Jane was a baby, I would lay her on the ground to change her diaper and return from throwing the dirty one away to find her fast asleep on the floor. To get Carver to sleep requires an intricate and highly elaborate routine that contains everything from walking in circles around our home to doing a pirouette in the yard. (Okay, maybe a bit of an exaggeration. But you get the idea.) Sarah Jane has never had “stranger danger” and has a flare for theatrics and storytelling that could make even Grumpy Cat smile. She is not ruined. She is perfect. Exactly the way she is.

Beating myself up over my mistakes never helped anything. I am glad that I learned the things I did- about the principles of Attachment Parenting, about babywearing, about nursing. I do honestly see them as the right choices for my son. But I no longer regret the choices I made for my daughter. I know fully in my heart that I made every choice with nothing but the best of intentions. I know that I was doing the best that I could with what I knew at the time. And I know that I will always be on my first chance with each of my kids, no matter how many more mistakes I make along the way. And trust me, I will make them. THAT is the only thing that is certain.