I’m just going to admit it. I freaking LOVE TV. And despite
the insistence of a lot of those in the parenting circles I belong to, I don’t
mind my kids loving it too. One of our favorite shows to all watch together is
Sesame Street. We even all dressed up as characters from the show for Halloween.
The list of famous actors who have appeared on the show is astoundingly long.
Seriously, there is a whole Wikipedia entry devoted to all the famous faces to
grace the screen on the show. After an appearance the other day by Elvis
Costello, I got to thinking… who are the celebrities who HAVEN’T done a guest
spot, but should? Here’s my Top 5. Who would you add to the list?
Johnny Depp
Why: Really, I would just like to see Captain Jack Sparrow.
I’m imagining a bit where Captain Jack leads Elmo on a “treasure hunt” through
treacherous jungles and beaches, only to find the treasure is a chest of rum
and coconuts. Cue the entrance of The Count, because this is Sesame Street, after
all, and everything is an opportunity to learn! VON! Von shot of rum. TWO! Two shots of rum.
Letter of the Day: P is for Pirate
George Lucas
Why: Seriously, y’all. Imagine the possibilities with George
Lucas on set. He could teach Grover about space and Oscar the Grouch could
dress up as Vader. Sadly, probably the only thing in the world more protected
by licensing than Sesame Street is Star Wars, but let’s just suspend disbelief
for a minute here… you know, like you have to do to get through all the plot
holes in Episode I.
Letter of the Day: S is for Space
Keith Richards
Why: Assuming he could make it to set somewhat sober, an
episode of Sesame Street with Keith Richards as the guest star would be a hodge
podge of epic awesomeness. We’d be treated to a parody performance called, “I
Know It’s Only Shapes and Colors (but I like it)” and Keith would probably get
confused at some point about what kind of monster the big blue one was… after
all Cookie and coke are really so few letters apart.
Letter of the Day: R is for Rock n Roll
Dustin Hoffman
Why: An episode with Dustin Hoffman would be the most fun to
watch. Perhaps he would take the opportunity as a platform to discuss gender
bias and the things he learned while filming Tootsie. Sesame Street has always
been very forward thinking, after all. Mostly I would like to see him find a
way to reprise his role of Captain Hook. Because, really, what is better than Dustin
Hoffman with that wig and mustache? Nothing, I tell you. Nothing.
Letter of the Day: T is for Tootsie
Samuel L Jackson
Why: Having proven his abilities within the realm of
children’s media with his narration of Go The Fuck to Sleep, Sesame Street
really is the next logical career move for this fowl mouthed favorite. I want
to see him and Cookie Monster duke it out over a plate of cookies. The best
bit, though, would involve Abby Cadabby dressed as a witch on a broomstick. After
a question about her costume from Elmo, Jackson would, of course, demand to know, “DOES SHE LOOK
LIKE A WITCH?”
Letter of the Day: S is for Snakes on this motha’ fuckin
plane
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